Procrastination has its Benefits

So many ruminations, so little interest...

First, I was going to spill my thoughts on love and marriage in a post-H8 era, but Ta Nehisi Coates does it for me:

As much as I can recall, there were basically three reasons for us to get married. 1.) I might leave. Marriage would force me to do the right thing. 2.) To declare our commitment to each other before a community of people whom we loved. 3.) The business reasons--the legalities of your estate and guardianship. I found--and still find--the first two reasons were utterly unconvincing. The third held some sway, but with the help of a lawyer we've managed to take care of that. The first turned marriage into a kind of insurance policy, and I just believed that if you felt you needed insurance for the person you were having kids by to stick out, you needed to reconsider the whole proposition. The commitment and community reason held some appeal. But I believed, and still believe, that long-term romantic partnerships are between the two people entering into it.

I hated the idea of public declarations, because the life blood of the relationship--what bills to pay, how to raise your child, your love life--all of that happened when no one else was around.
That gets at the essential truth for me--a relationship couldn't be about talking to other people. It couldn't be about telling other people what I was gonna do; it had to be about the actual work. From that perspective, a wedding was abominable to me. It was the antithesis of everything I wanted--a vain spectacle of love, when love is to be demonstrated, it is to be done, it is to be worked like a job.
All of that said, I'm completely on board with gay marriage, mostly because of the exact reasons I've laid out against marriage. Relationships are private, and I don't like the idea of the state telling two people what they can call their relationship and how they can live their lives.
I'm not so much into the kid thing and would have a few more acrimonious words to say about marriage itself, but really, I think the fact that Prop 8 passed pretty much lays bare the innate hypocrisy of our cultural attitudes toward the institution. If marriage is actually good for society, we should make it widely available in society. Otherwise, it's a members-only club. And, to paraphrase Groucho Marx, I wouldn't belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member.

Second, I was going to blog my Obama campaign volunteering postmortem, but when I got the Obama campaign survey over email, I figured I spare the rest of you my inane ramblings on this topic and direct them more appropriately. My procrastination is good for everyone in this situation.

Third, this isn't exactly procrastinating, but I was waiting for my favorite lawminatrix (yes, I just made that word up) Glenn Greenwald to dig up the dirt on the new AG, Eric Holder. As expected, he delivers some of the good and some of the bad all in one nicely-worded post. And for non-readers (assuming you made it this far), here's the link to the video of Holder's speech at the American Constitution Society for Law and Policy.

Finally, this has nothing whatsoever to do with procrastinating, but I'm thinking Nate Silver should be getting hazard pay.

Bonus: Weird nerdy Obama stuff here and here.

Nothing New byslag at 1:22 PM

3 dispense karmic justice! (or just comment here):

Gye Greene said...

As always, we'll have to agree to disagree about the whole Marriage thing. (You're an intriguing person to know: I like having friends with opinions that differ from my own, but that have a rationale behind 'em.)

A fourth argument/reason for marriage is that it's good for the economy (incl. jewelers and florists) -- much like Valentine's Day and Mother's Day...


slag said...

GG: Osteoporosis is good for the economy too (calcium pills, hormone supplements, etc).

I think you should toss up a pro-marriage post on your blog. We can have an inter-bloggetary debate.

Gye Greene said...

re: "pro-marriage" post -- too tired. :) Would rather discuss over pizza.

Or, not. :)


Word: "illers" -- those that make others ill, I suppose. We be illin'? Sounds like a hippy-hoppy term.

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