Ralph Nader: The Archie Bunker of American Politics

Ralph Nader recently criticized Barack Obama for not running for his version of Black President of the United States:

"There's only one thing different about Barack Obama when it comes to being a Democratic presidential candidate. He's half African-American," Nader said. "Whether that will make any difference, I don't know. I haven't heard him have a strong crackdown on economic exploitation in the ghettos. Payday loans, predatory lending, asbestos, lead. What's keeping him from doing that? Is it because he wants to talk white? He doesn't want to appear like Jesse Jackson? We'll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards."
"I mean, first of all, the number one thing that a black American politician aspiring to the presidency should be is to candidly describe the plight of the poor, especially in the inner cities and the rural areas, and have a very detailed platform about how the poor is going to be defended by the law, is going to be protected by the law, and is going to be liberated by the law," Nader said. "Haven't heard a thing."
Apparently, Ralph is qualified to tell Americans how to run for Black President. In that spirit, I've made my own list of issues that every old white male American politician aspiring to the presidency needs to take on:
  1. Early Bird Specials: The next old white male president needs to address the fact that early bird specials are not offered at every single diner across the country. Honestly, there oughta be a law.
  2. Those Pesky Freeways: Why are the lanes so narrow? Why do the young people drive so fast in them? The next old white male president really should tend to these concerns. Also, it would be nice if vehicle turn signals made a loud beeping sound after they've been on for about two minutes or so.
  3. Kids: The next old white male president needs to make the kids call more often.
  4. Grandkids: The next old white male president needs to make the grandkids talk louder and enunciate more slowly.
  5. Neighbors' Kids: The next old white male president needs to make "Get off my lawn!" signs freely available. And also put SWAT teams in every neighborhood whose only purpose is to make the neighbors' kids turn their music down--immediately.
  6. Medications, Aches and Pains, Gland Problems: The next old white male president needs to set up a phone bank staffed with people who are eager to spend hours listening to callers' complaints about medications, aches and pains, and glandular concerns.
  7. Viagra: We need more of this.
What's keeping Ralph from addressing these old white male issues? Is it because he doesn't want to talk old white male? He doesn't want to appear like Archie Bunker? We'll see all that play out in the next few months and if he gets elected afterwards.

Nothing New byslag at 7:04 PM

8 dispense karmic justice! (or just comment here):

WNG said...

I needed the funny Slag, because I was getting a little too pissed about this.
BUT I think my 'I'm mad at Obama' post is coming soon...

slag said...

Bring it on. It needs to be said.

WNG said...

Look for it after my mommy-is-coming-to-visit-me-and-buy-me-food-and-vodka high wears off.
BUT it has already been said via email and phone.

slag said...

I'm still waiting for that GOTV post. Slacker.

Gye Greene said...

Great stuff!

But, more immediately: shouldn't this be **McCain's** platform issues?

Nader's confusing race with social class. Which is, arguably, racist.

There are more Caucasians living in poverty in the U.S. than African-Americans (largely because there are simply more Caucasians in the U.S. than Afr-Ams).

So, to say that a black President **must** talk about poor, inner-city folks? Racist.


slag said...

GG: MFP said I should have brought McCain into the mix as well. You're both right--I should have. I'm with you on the racism of Nader's comments. Besides that, they were stupid. Hence, the Archie Bunker label. I'm getting tired of old white men telling the rest of us how we should represent ourselves to the world. A little self-reflection on their parts is in order.

rye said...

It seems many of you completely missed Nader's point. He was merely making an observation about obama's pandering to mainstream america. A member of one of the two mainstream parties simply cannot afford to risk being too far away from the other. It's unfortunately how they work.

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